


a new you to be proud of

by isyotm



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family Dinners, Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isyotm/pseuds/isyotm
Summary: Touko-san invites Natori-san over for dinner as thanks for looking after Natsume.
Relationships: Natori Shuuichi & Natsume Takashi, Natsume Takashi & Tanuma Kaname, Natsume Takashi/Tanuma Kaname
Comments: 6
Kudos: 144





	a new you to be proud of

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “Where We Go, We Grow” by Friendly Strangers
> 
> This was originally based on a [very silly tumblr post I made](https://chronomally.tumblr.com/post/179096422512/oh-jesus-i-just-realized-the-fujiwaras-dont-even) (yes I wrote a whole fic just for Touko and Shigeru to tell Natori to his face that they don’t know who he is) and then it kind of veered into some Tanuma/Natsume nonsense because I love Tanuma/Natsume nonsense. I feel like this has an overall slightly goofier tone than Natsume’s Book of Friends tends to have, especially in the beginning, but I also feel like Natsume lets more of his personality come out around Natori and Tanuma (including his more sarcastic side). Or at least that’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it

“I’m home!” Natsume calls as he opens the front door, the words filling him with unexpected warmth. He’s said them many times before, but it’s only here, as he shuts the door to the Fujiwara house behind him, that they feel true. He feels like he really has come home at last.

“Welcome back, Takashi-kun!” Touko-san calls from the kitchen. He can hear the crackling sound of something frying on the stove and Nyanko-sensei perks up next to him at the rich smells of shrimp and oil in the air. “How was school?”

“It went well, thank you,” he calls back as he toes off his shoes in the genkan. It’s not the complete truth (he was accosted by an ayakashi at lunch time and spent most of the afternoon trying to find their “precious treasure” without any kind of useful description as to what said precious treasure actually was), but it’s not a total lie either (after hours of fruitless searching, aided by both Taki and Tanuma, they discovered that the aforementioned precious treasure was actually an old chalkboard eraser that he was able to beg off of his math teacher with only a few strange looks). It always feels like he’s sifting through the dust of his life to uncover the occasional odd, slightly uncomfortable half-truth, the only things he can really offer to the Fujiwaras, but in a way he’s grateful to have someone to even offer them to. It’s nice that someone cares enough to ask about his day, even if there are parts of it he’s forced to leave out. “How was yours?” he asks as he moves into the kitchen.

She smiles at him and points to the bowl of fruit on the counter, offering them to him as a post-school, pre-dinner snack. “A friend from high school was in town today, so I met her for lunch and she told me about her husband’s new job. Apparently she’ll be moving relatively close by, so we’ll be able to see each other more often.”

“That sounds like it’ll be nice.” He’s about to tell her he’s going upstairs to work on his homework when she drops the bomb:

“You know, I think we passed each other on the way home. I was going to call out to you, but it looked like you were talking to someone.”

Natsume freezes and glances down at Nyanko-sensei, wide-eyed. Did they run into an ayakashi on the way home? He can’t remember. Nyanko-sensei’s equally bewildered expression says the lazy bodyguard can’t remember either.

“I thought maybe he was a friend of yours from school, but he looked too old to be a student.”

Wait, someone Touko-san could see? And too old to be a student? “Do you mean Natori-san?” They had seen the exorcist and his shikis by the riverbank and stopped to ask if he was in town for work and needed their help. To Natsume’s dismay, Natori-san was indeed in town for work, but nothing of the supernatural kind, and their conversation had been subjected to multiple interruptions as excited passersby came up to ask for an autograph or a picture from one of the country’s biggest stars.

“Hmm, maybe. Tall, very handsome? Light blond hair?”

Natsume resists the urge to sigh at the description of Natori-san, particularly the “very handsome” part. “Yes, that’s him.”

Touko-san pokes a piece of shrimp with a chopstick as if checking it for something. It must not pass the test, because she frowns and sets the chopsticks to the side. “Have you introduced us to him before? He looked familiar.”

Natsume blinks. She doesn’t…recognize the name? Then again, why would the Fujiwaras know anything about an idol? “No, I don’t think so.”

She’s quiet for a moment, clearly choosing her next words carefully. “Is he…someone you stayed with before?”

“No,” Natsume’s mouth replies before his brain can catch up to the question and he nearly smacks himself in the head. _That certainly would’ve been an easy explanation for a strange_ _adult_ _man!_ Nyanko-sensei snorts, shaking his head disparagingly. Natsume glares at him. _Oh,_ _I’d like to see you do any better._

He doesn’t miss the slight relief on Touko-san’s face. “Is he a senpai of yours from school then? Although he did seem a bit too old for that,” she says as she taps her chin thoughtfully.

 _Lie, lie, lie._ How is he supposed to explain Natori-san? _You know how to lie, you do it all the time, don’t you?_ But he doesn’t want to lie to the Fujiwaras. Not unless he has to. “Uh, not quite. He—” _Think!_ “—he helps us sometimes.” This time he does smack himself in the head, although luckily the sound isn’t loud enough to get Touko-san’s attention, her back still mostly to him as she prods the shrimp with her chopsticks again. _“Us”? Who is_ “us” _? Idiot!_

“With schoolwork? Oh, is he related to Tanuma-kun? Is that where I’ve seen him before?”

Natsume grabs at this proffered explanation like it’s a lifeline. “Yes, he’s Tanuma’s older cousin. Sometimes he comes to visit and he helps us with our homework.” His voice is shaking, he sounds so suspicious, surely she’ll call him on it. _There’s no way, she’s never going to believe—_

“That’s very kind of him. I do worry about Tanuma-kun, you know. Spending so much time by himself, especially when he gets sick so often? I’m glad he has someone to look after him when his father is away.”

“Yes,” Natsume agrees automatically, silently praying for this conversation to end. He turns again to head upstairs when Touko-san asks, “Does Natori-san live in town? I’d like to take something over to him as a thank you.”

“No, he has an apartment in Tokyo. Um, I think,” he adds, trying to sound casual, like he’s not at all familiar with Natori-san or his habits. He shoots a panicked look at Nyanko-sensei, his eyes screaming _Help me!_ Nyanko-sensei deliberately lifts a paw to his mouth and begins licking it, his eyes focused on his task. He rolls his eyes at this distinctly unhelpful display of cat-like behavior. _Of course._

She claps her hand to her cheek, brow wrinkled in her concern. “All by himself?”

Natsume has become very familiar with that look and tone during his time living with the Fujiwaras. “It’s fine. He eats well,” he says quickly. It’s imperative that—

“I remember how Shigeru-san was before we were married. I would visit his apartment and there would be nothing in the fridge! Oh, I shudder just thinking about it.” She shakes her head to emphasize this point. “Takashi-kun, you _must_ invite him over for dinner. As a thank you for looking after you all this time.”

He’s about to open his mouth to argue—Natori-san is an adult and a powerful exorcist, he can look after himself just fine—but the last part makes him pause. He owes a lot to the older man for helping him navigate the world of ayakashi, of things unseen. Maybe a home-cooked meal is just the thing to say thank you.

“I’ll ask him,” he promises as he heads to his room, ignoring Nyanko-sensei’s grumbling, already begrudging the prospect of having to share Touko-san’s cooking.

* * *

“You want me to…what?”

“Touko-san—she’s one of the people who looks after me—would like you to come over for dinner.”

“A home-cooked meal, huh?” Natori-san rubs his chin thoughtfully. “It does sound tempting.” He eyes Natsume carefully. “Would that be okay with you?”

As much as he’s not thrilled at the idea of having his two worlds collide like this in the Fujiwara house, it would be nice to have the human members of his family all together for a meal. And he does owe a lot to Natori-san. “I—yes. I think so.”

Natori-san fixes him with a long look. “I only want to go if you’re sure you’re okay with it, Natsume-kun.”

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure.”

“Okay. Thank you. I must admit, I’ve heard so much about Fujiwara-san’s cooking, I’m looking forward to actually trying it myself.” Natori-san’s face relaxes into a smile, the normal one he uses when he’s not Natori Shuuichi, Superstar. “So what’s our story?”

“What do you mean?”

“How did you explain how you know me?”

“Oh. That.” He feels a rush of guilt at the reminder of his lie to Touko-san and Shigeru-san (Touko-san had relayed the whole story to her husband when he had come home from work and warned him that they would be having a dinner guest sometime soon, to which Shigeru-san had only replied that he was looking forward to thanking Natori-san in person). “I said you were Tanuma’s cousin and you help us with homework sometimes.”

“Tanuma-kun, hm?” Natori-san lingers over the boy’s name, looking thoughtful.

Natsume narrows his eyes. “Please don’t say his name like that.”

“Like what?” Natori-san’s voice is all innocence, but Natsume isn’t fooled and he bites the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from making a face.

“Don’t you think we should invite Tanuma-kun to dinner too?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” he says in a rush. Natori-san gives him another considering look and Natsume can already feel himself losing this argument before it’s even started.

“I don’t know, I think it would be strange for me to show up for dinner without my dear younger cousin who I take such good care of, don’t you? Besides, who knows?” Natori-san’s tone starts to shift to the declamatory voice he uses in all of his movies and Natsume and Nyanko-sensei roll their eyes at each other. “Maybe love could finally—”

“Fine! Fine. I’ll ask him and see what he says.”

Natori-san winks at him.

Natsume sighs.

* * *

“Sorry, you want me to what?”

Natsume feels like he’s playing a convoluted game of telephone. “I told Touko-san that Natori-san was your older cousin who lives by himself and sometimes he comes over and helps us with our homework and now she wants to invite him over for dinner. Natori-san insisted that you come too because he thinks it would be weird if you weren’t there.”

“Wow, don’t do me any favors.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You know you can come over any time.” He blinks, embarrassed by the sincerity in his words. That’s not what he meant to say.

“Oh.” Tanuma’s ears turn pink. “T-thanks.”

There’s a long awkward pause that only breaks when Tanuma scratches the side of his face and says, “You know, Natsume, I think there’s a problem with your plan.”

He resists the urge to sigh. “There are a lot of problems with it. Can you be more specific?”

“I’ve never met Natori-san.”

“Oh. Right.” That is a problem, and one that’s a bit more pressing than the hundreds of others that have been weighing on his mind.

* * *

“Natori-san, this is Tanuma. Tanuma, this is Natori-san.”

“Tanuma-kun! I’ve heard so much about you.” Natsume glares, but Natori-san isn’t looking at him, too busy fixing a camera-ready smile on a starstruck Tanuma.

“Oh. Oh, you’re that Natori-san. Natori Shuuichi-san. The idol. Natsume didn’t tell me that part.” Tanuma glances over at him, eyes wide. “Natsume, you didn’t tell me that part.”

“Sorry. I forgot.” Natori-san’s life as an A-lister is more of a hindrance than a help when it comes to dealing with yokai. To be honest, Natsume tends to ignore it. It’s weirdly embarrassing seeing someone he knows on the big screen, especially in the kinds of roles Natori-san tends to play.

“You _forgot_?” Tanuma’s voice comes out higher than normal, a note of hysteria creeping in at the edges.

“Natsume isn’t a fan of my work,” Natori-san explains with a self-deprecating smile. “Well, my other work.”

“‘Other work’?”

“When I’m not busy singing or acting, I’m a part-time exorcist.” The words are accompanied by an odd flourish that Natsume guesses is supposed to be a pantomime of an exorcism but looks more like Natori-san is trying to throw a frisbee without moving his arm.

“Oh. Right. Yes, Natsume’s mentioned that. He says you’ve taught him a lot about dealing with yokai.” Tanuma seems to have recovered from standing so close to one of the country’s biggest stars and bows deeply to Natori-san. “Thank you for looking after him. I’m sure he’s told you that I can’t really see ayakashi, so it’s a relief to know that he has someone he can turn to when things are too difficult for him to handle.”

Natsume’s face warms at this mature declaration. It sounds almost like Tanuma is—

“How proper! Natsume-kun, you’ve really out-done yourself.”

“Natori-san, _please._ ”

Tanuma looks back and forth between them, clearly confused. Natsume shrugs, a sheepish smile on his face. It’s better than explaining his embarrassing crush and the even more embarrassing mistake of confiding in Natori-san because he had (foolishly) assumed these two would never, ever need to be in the same room together for longer than five seconds.

And now he’s going to be arbitrating a dinner between them and the Fujiwaras.

He’d almost rather be dealing with a yokai.

Almost.

* * *

Natsume spends the day of The Dinner (it takes up so much space in his mind he can only think of it in capital letters) in an anxious haze. He can hear his friends talking around him, sometimes to him, but it’s hard to focus long enough to give any kind of coherent response. When one of his teachers calls on him to answer a math problems, he stares helplessly, mouth working but no words coming out, until she takes pity on him and calls on someone else instead.

“Natsume?” a familiar voice asks and Natsume jumps, his head turning at the sound of his name.

“Tanuma,” he breathes, startled by the other boy’s sudden appearance even as his presence fills Natsume with a sense of comfort. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

“We’re between classes right now.” Natsume stares. He hadn’t even heard the bell ring. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, I—” He drops his half-formed defense at the disbelieving look on Tanuma’s face. “Not really.” He smiles sheepishly. “What gave it away?”

“Nishimura and Kitamoto came to find me during lunch. They said you were acting weird and wouldn’t tell them why.” He leans in, lowering his voice, and Natsume feels his face heat at the sudden proximity. “Is this about a…you know.”

“No. Sorry, I—” He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “To be honest, I’m just a little nervous.”

“About dinner?”

“Yes.”

Tanuma leans back, considering this. “Because Natori-san will be there?”

 _Because all the most important people in my life will be sitting together at one table and I want it to go well. I need it to go well. I need it to be perfect._ “Kind of.”

“Are you worried the Fujiwaras won’t like him?”

Absorbed as he’d been with the stress involved in orchestrating his lie, the thought honestly hadn’t even occurred to him. “Now I am.”

Tanuma gives him an apologetic look. “Well, at least you know they already like me. They…they do like me, right?”

Natsume smiles. “Yes, they like you.”

“And I’ll try my best to make him look good. Well, I guess he already— You know what I mean.” Tanuma grimaces.

That gets a laugh out of him, and he can feel some of the tension seeping out of his shoulders as the bell rings.

Tanuma sighs as he stands, looking regretful. “I have to get back to class, but I’ll see you later?”

Natsume doesn’t want him to leave, but he forces himself to nod and say, “See you later. Thank you.” He isn’t sure if he’s thanking Tanuma for checking on him or for cheering him up or for agreeing to this whole charade in the first place, but as the other boy glances back to wave goodbye, Natsume can tell he understands anyway.

* * *

It’s a relief to come back home and not have to focus on anything for a while, and he’s already thinking of the nap he’s going to enjoy as he climbs the stairs, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his uniform shirt.

Natsume opens the door to his room.

And stares at the various members of the Dog’s Circle and several large bottles of sake sitting on the tatami in his room.

“Natsume-sama!”

He shuts the door.

And opens it again.

They’re still there.

“Natsume-sama?”

He rubs his temples, summoning the last dregs of his patience. “Not that it’s not nice to see all of you, but we can’t do this today.” He turns to Nyanko-sensei, lounging on a cushion and already half drunk, and demands, “Why is everyone drinking in my room again? We talked about this.”

“Did we? I wasn’t listening.” He burps.

“Natsume-sama, come join us!” one of the mid-levels cries as he pours a cup of sake for Natsume and holds it out for him to take, the other echoing “Join us, join us!”

“You know I’m not old enough to drink. Besides, we’re having guests today.” He pauses and adds, with emphasis, “An exorcist.”

Chobi covers his mouth with a long sleeve in shock. “You’ve invited an exorcist into your home, Natsume-sama? Is everything alright?”

“He’s actually a dinner guest, but yes.” He fixes his gaze on Nyanko-sensei. “You already knew about this and invited them anyway.”

“It’s not like he’s coming for _them_. He’s coming to do boring things downstairs, they’ll be fine.”

Kappa looks around nervously. “Maybe we should leave.”

 _Yes_ , Natsume wants to say. _Please leave._ He can feel a headache starting. “Why don’t you go to Yatsuhara and drink?”

“Fine, fine,” Nyanko-sensei sniffs. “I can tell when I’m not wanted.” Natsume gives him a look. His cat may have many unusual talents, but that certainly isn’t one of them. “Save some fried shrimp for me.”

“I won’t,” he promises as the Dog’s Circle file out of his room through the window. He shuts it behind them, changes out of his uniform, unfolds his futon, and lies down for a nap before Natori-san and Tanuma arrive for dinner.

* * *

Dinner is by turns an awkward and entertaining affair. The Fujiwaras are warm and welcoming, the extent and exuberance of their gratitude bordering on mortifying. In return, Natori-san is charming and personable, even if he makes Tanuma and Natsume want to roll their eyes at some of his saccharine lines. Tanuma and Natori-san clearly don’t know each other as well as two cousins who frequently spend time together should, but either the Fujiwaras don’t notice or are too polite to comment on it (Natsume hopes it’s the former, but he suspects the latter).

The most entertaining part comes after dinner, as Touko-san and Natsume are cleaning up while Shigeru-san and Natori-san enjoy an after-dinner cup of tea and Tanuma squirms next to them at the table, chagrined that his repeated attempts to help have been politely but firmly rebuffed.

“Oh! Now I know where I recognize him from,” Touko-san suddenly says, apropos of nothing.

“Who? Oh, Natori-san?” Natsume asks as he balances the heavy stack of plates in his arms and Tanuma behind him weakly protests that he can carry them. Natsume and Touko-san ignore him.

“Yes!” She turns to the two men still seated at the table. “Natori-san, you were in an advertisement for Lawson the other day, weren’t you?”

“Lawson?” He looks confused for a moment, and then his face clears as he laughs. “Oh, yes. I’d almost forgotten about that.”

“Congratulations!”

It takes all of Natsume’s self-control not to laugh at the baffled look on Natori-san’s face.

“I didn’t know you were an actor, Natori-san,” Shigeru-san says. “Lawson is a very large company. I’m sure getting a role in an ad for them must have been very difficult.”

“I— Yes, I’m sure there were many qualified candidates.”

Natsume makes the mistake of looking at Tanuma, the other’s boy face pink and pinched from the effort of holding back his own laughter, and has to turn on the faucet to cover the sound of the giggle that escapes.

“You know, I always hear ads are the stepping stone to bigger and better roles. It’s important to get your face out there. I’m sure you’ll be a big star in no time.”

“Yes,” Touko-san nods sagely. “Nothing beats hard work.”

Natori-san’s barely concealed confusion and dismay immediately cements itself in Natsume’s mind as one of the best and most hilarious moments of his life.

* * *

Later, after Natsume has already bid Natori-san good night, he and Tanuma linger just outside the door of the Fujiwara house, not quite looking at each other. It was nice seeing Tanuma sitting at their dinner table, eating and talking and laughing with the Fujiwaras, and Natsume is trying to avoid saying goodbye, to make the night last as long as he possibly can.

Too soon, Tanuma breaks the silence between them. “Well, I guess I should be heading home.” Maybe it’s Natsume’s wishful thinking, but he sounds reluctant to leave.

“Thank you again. I’m sorry for making you lie to Touko-san and Shigeru-san like that.”

“It’s fine. It was for a good cause, right? And I finally got to meet Natori-san. He’s…interesting.”

Natsume laughs. “Do you mean disappointing?”

Tanuma shrugs, the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “A little bit.” He hesitates for a moment, looking like he’s deciding whether or not to say something, and then adds, “I’m glad you invited me. I—I want to meet the people who are important to you. Whether they’re ayakashi or actor-exorcists or regular humans.” He huffs a laugh in the empty silence between them.

Natsume’s too busy lingering on the middle part to join in. “ _I want to meet the people who are important to you.”_ “I want you to meet them too.” _I want you to know everything about me._ The thought scares him. And what scares him even more is he thinks Tanuma would listen to every word and accept it all.

He looks up to see Tanuma staring at him, eyes wide, and maybe it’s the moonlight or the long day, but for a moment, he thinks he sees a flash of something familiar, something like the feelings that have been lurking in his heart for a long, long time. He leans closer, his breath hitching in his chest when Tanuma does the same.

“Natsume, you know, I—”

 _Yes,_ he wants to say. _I do too._ Their fingers brush, dart away from each other, and he inhales sharply when they brush each other again, Tanuma catching his hand in a warm grip.

“I like—I like spending time with you, and I want—”

“Natsume-sama!” The unexpected sound of one of the mid-levels is loud, cutting through the nighttime stillness, and Natsume jumps, pulling away slightly.

“Sorry!” Tanuma says in a rush. “I—l shouldn’t have—”

“No! It’s— I— We have company.”

“Huh?” Tanuma blinks at the unexpected reply.

Natsume gestures to the open window behind him. “The Dog’s Circle is having a drinking party in my room. Again. I thought telling them an exorcist was coming had scared them back to Yatsuhara, but I guess not.”

Tanuma’s mouth curls into a wry smile, but the corners of it are gentle with something that makes Natsume’s heart beat too fast. “There’s never a dull moment when I’m with you.” Slowly, his eyes never leaving Natsume’s, he leans in close again, his breath warm on Natsume’s face. “It’s…it’s fun.”

Natsume doesn’t look away as he says, “I’m glad you think so.” For a moment, he lets himself imagine what it would feel like to lean in even closer and let himself breach the space between them, what it would feel like to press his lips against Tanuma’s. _Maybe another time,_ he thinks, as he has countless time before, but this time “maybe” feels a lot more like “someday soon” instead of “only in a dream.”

Tanuma squeezes his hand once before letting go and stepping back. “Good night, Natsume.” His gaze is steady, still fixed on Natsume’s.

Natsume resists the urge to shiver at the cold air suddenly rushing in to fill the empty space between them and the promise implicit in the way Tanuma says those three simple words. “Good night, Tanuma.”

He remains standing there by the gate long after Tanuma has turned the corner out of sight.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you’re not familiar with it, Lawson is a Japanese convenience store chain (and my personal favorite)
> 
> This fic is me trying to get better at adding scenes to help with pacing rather than just rushing straight to writing the parts I like and saying fuck it to everything else


End file.
